Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
