love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Randomize
