There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
even my farts smell like vagina
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Randomize
