Don't you send me to vm
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
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