Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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