do herpes really smell.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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