FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
