i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Randomize
