Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
