you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
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