his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
And then he peed in my hair
Randomize