Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(250): View more from British Columbia

You don't have asthma, your pregnant

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(609): View more from New Jersey

i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.

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(209): View more from California

He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7

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(407): View more from Florida

i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.

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(925): View more from California

He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"

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(410): View more from Maryland

She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."

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(781): View more from Massachusetts

she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits

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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do

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