Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Randomize
