i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
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