Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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