I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Randomize
