we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
