I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
