if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
