Quick, to the slutcave!
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
