just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
