You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize