What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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