i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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