thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
