You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
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Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
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I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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