I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
