Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
