so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
