just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Randomize
