lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
