I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
thus making me awesome and them whores
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
4 words: hood of his car
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
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