she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
