By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Randomize
