Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
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I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
He has the fingertips of a God
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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