Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
