Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
ok first of all what the fuck
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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