I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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