It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
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