You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize