If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
