At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
