dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Randomize
