Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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