I need help removing her.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
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