White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
