I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
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