Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
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