i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
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