he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
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