drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Princesses don't give blow jobs
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
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