Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
