He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
