end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize