apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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